Steve..

I was asked to apply to be in Mr BEAR UK.  I was hesitant at first as I suspected I would be very nervous on stage, but I found the whole process a good laugh, and you are very well looked after, and the process was made clear before we got up on stage.  There was definitely some nervousness amongst all of us just prior to going out, but you soon understand it's really a fun night, and the audience has your back.  I laughed so much during the questions.  I met so many awesome people, and the Bear community is super friendly.  I've stayed in touch with many of the guys I met during the heats and build-up to the final.  I've applied again this year, but I'd encourage others to apply too.

Steve has written a book namely "ME Caveman YOU Narcissist".

Q. What is the book called

A: ME Caveman you narcissist

Q. What is the book about?

A: Trauma, identity, and finding one's inner warrior

Q. What inspired you to write this book?

A: The story is somewhat lifted from my life. My protagonist, Carl, survived cancer, trauma, bullying, addiction, and falling in love with the wrong people. Just like me, LOL. I gave him the name Carl as I was meant to be called Carl, but my parents changed their minds at the last minute. London's dating scene provided some of the most colourful material imaginable.

Q. How long did it take you to write?

A: Four months to write and five months to edit. I actually finished the first draft of the manuscript as my train pulled into Birmingham for my final in Mr Gay Bear UK.

Q. What message or emotion do you most want readers to walk away with?

A: That strength and bravery, particularly how it relates to masculinity, is deeper than just surface. That brave men come in many different forms and that we need to stick together, accept our differences, and be kinder to one another.

Q. Which part of the book was the hardest to write and why?

A: The scene where Carl's dad comes clean about abuse he suffered was the hardest emotionally. That was lifted almost verbatim where—during a storm one night—my dad finally confronted a terrible experience. I still struggle to read it without getting upset. The tennis match was the hardest technically.

Q. Were any characters inspired by real people?

A: That would be telling LOL. Bash is inspired by a number of people from my time in finance but with massive embellishments. Carl is closely based on me. I even stood in for him on the cover, but I asked the artist to make him shorter and a bit stockier. Leila is based on my good friend Lana, and Nancy was taken from Ruth, who was my HR representative at my last job. We have remained friends, and her little dog Van was the inspiration for Toby. Vanny has really bad breath, too. Juan is based on my brother from another mother, Jose, who actually did help me through detox when I finally faced my medical addiction. My mum was turned into a massive serial dater for the book. She found this to be hilarious. She’s had the same partner, John, for the last 38 years. When I asked her if she was ok with this distortion, she said “Yes! People will think I had so much fun” hahaha.

Q. What was the most rewarding moment during your writing journey?

A: I guess the most rewarding moment was typing the last word of the manuscript. But I had no idea what was to follow. The editing process was punishing and took longer than it did to write the first draft. Writing Betty felt good, too. I have missed her so much.

Q. Would you be tempted to write another book?

A: Yes, my next book is about Betty, the woman who looked after me when I was very young. We see Carl again as a child, and there's also an LGBT storyline.  Betty was like a mother to me, and bringing her to life again was awesome. I actually went on to have a very detailed dream about her where she gave me the title for my next book.